You're Still Married...

First thing that I am going to do is, look at your hands. If I see

or 

I'm walking away. Take that as a gift. Because if you force me into a conversation with you, everything is going to be about your wife.

Can I talk to you for a minute? Go talk to your wife.

I'm just trying to have a conversation with you. I'm sure your wife would like for you to talk to her instead.

Why you gotta be like that? Does your wife know you just wanna talk to me?

Even if she's okay with it, I am not, unless the 3 of us are there engaging in a conversation. 

At the end of the day, unless death has did you part or you have signed those papers, you are still married.

But she ignores me. You're still married.

We don't live in the same house. Yet, you're still married.

I don't have enough for the divorce. You're still married.

She cheated on me with my homeboy. And guess what genius? You're still married to her.

She's out of town. Go join her. Because you're still married.

I got money! Not for long because you're still married.

She don't ____. Sucks for you - I don't care. You're still married.

Any and every excuse or justification that you can try to give me does NOT negate the fact that...

YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!

And I don't want no parts of it. Once you say I do, bruh, I DON'T!!! No exceptions!! And this goes for dudes that have a fiancée, a girlfriend, a "situation", an "understanding" or any dude that is anything but truly, wholly, doesn't matter what day of the week it is: single.

How doth dating whilst married work anyway? Why DID you get married? Why didn't you just stay single so that you can roam the streets? Is it because you need to have that strong, home foundation just in case you can't get your way in these streets? Do you just need someone that you can make appearances with and put up a united front with all the while sneaking around in the dark with every Nikki, Jilly and Philly who will sleep with you? Is this some male ego thing? Is it the rush? Is it the thrill? Does adrenaline have y'all fucked up? Or does the "man is not meant to be monogamous" BS drive you to do stupid things? If you believed any of that, why did you get married again?

Do you need to not only know if you still have "it" but you have the need to act upon it as well? Is it to show off for your boys? Will they be there holding your hand, while you're listening to Bobby Womack on the floor in the corner of your crib (or your Mom's crib b/c wifey put you out) drinking dark liquor and reminiscing about what you had?

hell no.

They'll be somewhere trying to scoop up your old lady. There are some girls that play those reindeer games but I don't. 

Start sending these stragglers on home to make their wives miserable and don't let him back around until he can show you those papers. She promised to put up with you, thru the good and the bad, in sickness and health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live. I made no such promises but I will help you honor your vows to her, at least on my end. Since you so conveniently forget...

And y'all suck at cheating anyway. You always get caught. Just stop. And be glad that ONE woman wants to put up with you. But keep playing with these women's feelings and emotions and you will find yourself guest starring on a very popular show...